THE INVISIBLE SEQUENCES OF SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

THE MORAL REVOLUTION TEAM’S ANSWER

We can already imagine what you are likely to expect from an article like this. Yes, sex before marriage can lead to an unplanned pregnancy. Yes, sexually transmitted infections can occur in this context. Yes, pre-marriage sex can increase the risk of identity problems, depression and broken relationships. But there is so much more to say on the subject, especially regarding the invisible effects of sex.

First of all, it is important to understand the following point: we cannot stop our bodies from doing what they were created for. And what were they made for? For binding. We were created to connect with another human being in such a way that we become one – together, for a lifetime. Why is this happening? Our hormones are the reason why we stick together with our partner, so to speak. There is a bond that goes beyond mere skin-to-skin connection. From a scientific point of view, we know that we engage in sex with someone from a hormonal, neurological and psychological point of view: intense mental, emotional and physical bonds are made, especially when we have sex with each other over and over again. 1 How does it happen? This is a fairly simple matter – hormones are released every time you engage in sexual activity. The messenger substance oxytocin is mainly released in women, whereas vasopressin is released in men. Oxytocin ensures that a woman can bind herself to the most important people in her life. The hormone is also known as an anti-stress hormone and creates a feeling of calm and closeness, which in turn strengthens trust. Another effect can be seen in the desire to care for and protect the person to whom she is committed. The hormone vasopressin is very similar to oxytocin, except that it is released in the man’s brain. It ensures that a man binds to a woman during intimate contact. Some also call it the “loyalty hormone” or the “monogamy molecule” because it triggers the desire for a lasting bond and creates loyalty. It awakens the protective instinct of the man and is also responsible for recurring feelings of jealousy Endorphins release other hormones, which, in contrast to oxytocin and vasopressin, affect both sexes. Endorphins are also known as happiness hormones.

They are characterized by a high addictive potential and trigger the desire to want to experience this intoxication of the feelings again and again the whole thing becomes if you consider that these hormones are value-neutral.3 It makes no difference whether it is a one-time encounter or a lifelong promise – we always bind in the same way, and endorphins are also responsible for giving us these emotional Keep memories alive stay and make sure that such experiences and encounters are not so easy to forget. If you look at this in the context of marriage, all of these hormones turn out to be enormously motivating and helpful. In his infinite wisdom, God was aware of the fact that marriage would be tough on some days. He knew we could use some help deciding on each other every day, over and over again. He knew there would be days when we didn’t particularly like our spouse. That we will argue. That bills flutter into the house. That little children get sick. That the in-laws come to visit. That there will be emergencies. That stress will overshadow the relationship. So he installed a system for overwriting (hormones) and made sure that we would go through thick and thin together – on bad and good days, in poverty or wealth, in illness or health. It will be responsible for us to be committed, to be loyal and possessive and to be willing to endure a lot in order to keep what belongs to us. How incredibly intelligent our creator is!

So what does it look like now if we have more than one sex partner?

Scientifically speaking, the following happens: If we bind and separate again, bind and separate, bind and separate, over time we lose the ability to actually bind ourselves to someone permanently.4 And then comes the moment when we are ready for this new, really serious relationship or even a marriage – and we are missing something. And this missing something prevents us from fully connecting with this person, we don’t feel quite as deeply connected or surrendered. Our feelings seem to be fading away. Then when we meet someone else who seems a little bit more exciting, attractive or even better to suit us, we are up and away in no time. It is forgotten that we were just in love with both ears. It happens that we can no longer look forward to the love adventure and become indifferent. And in the end we may even lose faith in ever really falling in love again. That is why it is important to protect our purity – mentally, spiritually and physically. The ability to maintain and protect one’s own purity is of immense importance and not just a religious ideal. It’s not about giving someone a valuable business card, that’s not the point. The point is to keep our attachment ability intact – and then connect with the right person for a lifetime.